How do we bring about true change in our lives?
Most of us know we have thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve us, but change does not come naturally to the human nervous system. Every client (and MYSELF) has struggled with this at some point. We are NOT alone here. Whether it is an idea that came from our parents, a coping mechanism we developed, or a belief we formed about who we are, chances are at some point we are going to need to evolve beyond that experience in order to live the life we desire.
Here is where we begin to struggle with our struggle. We have the first struggle, whith our limiting thought, behavior, etc. that is creating disharmony in our life. Then comes the judgement on ourselves for still participating in this way of thinking/acting. Next we have the new way of being that we have decided is the solution!
Typically this is where the battle royale begins. We have decided that we are making a particular change and we are going to implement it with an iron fist. As anyone who has "dieted" can tell you this is a recipe for disaster. We are trying to wrest power from a thought or behavior by being fully engaged as it's nemesis. The problem is that what we focus on gets bigger. If doesn't matter if your issue is money, food, or confidence if you are engaged fully in defeating the old way of being, you are engaged with the old way of being. This simply doesn't create change.
What if you could start the process of change much more gently? What if you could create new ways of being without even engaging with the old issues? What if curiosity was the solution? (See what I did there?) What if you could be curious about what you are experiencing rather than condemning? i.e. Wow, that's interesting that I said that. Where did I first hear that belief? Hmm.. do I really feel that way or am I afraid?
There are so many amazing ways to be curious, and one of the great things is that it takes the power away from the old way of being. You have the opportunity to find solutions through your old thought, beliefs, and behaviors without moving into re-engagement with the stuff that no longer serves you.
Have you struggled with struggle? Please share about your journey in the comments below.
Live Your Heart Out Loud!