Love The One Your In (Body that is...)

How I wish I loved myself decades ago the way I love myself today.
For so long my value was based on how small I could make my body and how large I could make my smile.
I told myself other people's stories about me day and night. There was a constant stream of coulds, shoulds, woulds, and have to's rolling around in my heart and my head.
I should always try to be just sexy enough to be appreciated, but not so sexy as to feel my own sensuous pleasure. It was important to be seen as attractive by others in my words, my actions, and my dress. Who wants to be around someone who's not pleasant?
I am here today to call bullshit on these beliefs and behaviors. It has been an amazing journey into my own power.
I do not exist for pleasure of other people's viewing.
I have unwound so many threads of fear, shame, and doubt told to me in order to keep me "pretty and pleasant." I no longer have the desire to meet those qualifications for a "quality woman."
I embrace being fierce, loud, smart, and compassionate. Some days that looks like this. Some days it looks like lifting weights at the gym. (I love that feeling)And some days that looks like holding space as a client unwinds their own threads of others expectations.
My journey continues to unfold, some days I am better at loving myself and some days not as fabulous, but every day is better than my teens and twenties.
For that I am always grateful to all of the amazing women who inspired me to make this journey to MY true nature.